


The Call.

by InjuredMoonDance



Category: Derry Girls (TV)
Genre: F/M, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Jerin - Freeform, The prom, sort of slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:02:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22411462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InjuredMoonDance/pseuds/InjuredMoonDance
Summary: Sometimes, all it took was a single call. A call that could make a boy rethink his priorities, a call that forced him to choose what he wanted and the right thing to do, a choice that was so clear he didn’t find himself hesitating to make. All he had left to do was to wonder, why? Why give up a night of peace amongst people like him in favor of accompanying one of his friends to the Prom.
Relationships: James Maguire/Erin Quinn
Comments: 28
Kudos: 90





	1. Friends

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I've just recently watched Derry Girls, and decided I would write something small for it, so I hope you like this small story on the relationship between Erin and James.  
> I should clarify, though, before you begin reading the story (and thank you so, so much if you do), English is not my first language, as such, writing accents or mannerisms are not my forte, and while I've grown accostumed a little at the way the speak in Derry Girls, this is a very tuned down version of it, because I didn't want to overdo it, or say things that don't have the meaning I think they do, so I hope you can forgive me for it.  
> This is Chapter 1 out of 5.  
> Without much else to say, I hope you enjoy this!

To say that James had been waiting for weeks for the Doctor Who Night could easily be an understatement. Finding out about it on accident, as a special announcement between the pop songs Michelle had been blasting on the radio at her home had given him something to look forward to in the next few weeks.

He had prepared everything for the night, even apologized to Clare about his indisposition to take her to the event Jenny Joyce had themed as a 50s American Prom, most likely out of her fanatism for Grease. He had a carefully planned suitcase with snacks, a few bits of Doctor Who memorabilia and money he had saved to buy something extra for himself.

However, the idea of meeting new people with who he could say he shared a common interest with paled against the concept of having an entire night where he could rest from his cousin’s constant remarks about him being English. No, that night he would make new friends, hopefully male ones to expand his circle limited to four people of his own age.

James couldn’t help but notice his uncle looking at him curious. The teen looked at him rather awkwardly, before the phone rang and James eyes turned to the clock on the wall, the event was supposed to begin at eight thirty, and it was barely eight ten, but in the midst of his excitement the teen had packed everything too early, looking through everything three times to make sure he wasn’t forgetting anything important, from the scarf around his neck to the money carefully kept.

It had been his uncle the one who had lifted himself out of his spot on the couch to answer the call, James followed him with the eyes, watching his eyes furrow when he recognized the other side of the call.

“Who is this?... Oh, yes…What’s the reason you are calling at this hour?.... Yes… He’s still here. Oi! Boy, Mary Quinn’s calling you” James perked up, unable to make sense out of his uncle’s answers eyebrows furrowed curious as he lifted himself from the couch to where the man held the phone in his hand as far away from his body as he could urging the teenager to grab it.

“Hello Mrs. Quinn” James answered giving a single nod to his uncle to indicate him everything should be alright; he heard the man grumble something about his distaste of any call during the night.

“Hello, James, Love” He could barely hear her talking, like if she was hushing her own voice to prevent other people from listening. “I heard you weren’t going to the Prom thing they are having at school.” James lips got in a thin line.

“I had another thing come out” He said, “Is everything alright?”

“Yes, No.” The woman surrendered and there was a silent pause and he couldn’t make up what was said at the other side of the line with clarity, he did know it wasn’t Erin’s mom the one who had talked “This guy that was supposed to take Erin to the prom, what was his name… John something.” James nodded silently at the other side of the line as if the woman could see him, a gut-wrenching feeling forming on his stomach.

“That boy, well he didn’t show up, and if I’m honest with you, I don’t think he will at this point” There was a second pause, and he heard her sigh at the other side of the line, the feeling at his stomach just became stronger, his lips on a thin line “I was wondering if it would be possible for you to take her to the prom? I know the girls tease you a lot, and that you had other plans for the night, but Erin… the girls” The woman quickly corrected herself “They all have a soft spot for you” She concluded.

He stayed in silence for a few seconds, meditating his next actions. He could feel his uncle’s eyes on him, in way, Erin’s argument about the impossibility of going to the concert ran through his head. When would he get an opportunity like that again?

Yet, his mind wasn’t entirely focused on the horror of missing out or the plans he had already made, instead he sunk on the idea of Erin sitting on her living room all on her own, wearing the uncomfortable-looking dress she had picked, waiting for John Paul who wouldn’t arrive. Saying to Clare that he was unable to go had been easy, it wasn’t the same case for Erin, his eyes diverted to his suitcase and the clock on the wall, no more than five minutes had gone by. He took a deep breath and toyed with the phone’s chord.

“I’ll understand if you…” He didn’t realize how long his silence had lasted until Mary’s voice came at the other side of the line.

“I’ll be glad to take her, Mrs. Quinn” A part of him wanted to snap him, to make him realize he hadn’t actually taken a choice. Once the words left his lips, there was not a single trace of doubt in his mind and the feeling on his stomach became a little more bearable. There was a thin smile on his face, the things inside the suitcase didn’t seem as important as they were before.

“Thank you so much.” Mary’s voice was filled with relief, “I’ll leave you to get ready, see you soon” James nodded at the other side of the line, listening to the usual tune of the phone that had been hung on the other side of the line.

It took the boy a few seconds to recover from the call, once he did, he ran upstairs, looking through his closet to see if he had anything he could wear to the event. He ran a hand through his hair, groaning in frustration. He remembered packing it when his mother had told him _they_ were moving to Derry, he dawned on the realization that the suit in question had probably remained on one of his mother’s suitcases and she had carried it to London.

James kicked the air before sitting on the edge of the bed, the time was passing and he had promised Mrs. Quinn she would take Erin, and Erin was _waiting_ , not for him, clearly, but she was waiting for someone to take her to the Prom, and she had been so eager to go.

He was beginning to meditate all the options he could possibly have when he felt something be thrown his way, his eyes briefly covered by the dark fabric he had barely managed to catch before it touched the carpeted floor of the bedroom. In the doorway was his uncle, mouth on a thin line.

“It might fit you; you’ve grown and it’s too small for me”

“Thank you” James nodded simple, a sigh of relief and a smile on his face, his uncle turning his back on him and walking to the living room.

In the entirety of the time he had lived in the Mallon household, he could recall he was the only one who had never made a single joke on the English or the gay thing and his only complains relied on the fact that there was far too many people in the house for his liking.

“Could you call a cab, please?” He screamed leaning on the door, in barely a shirt and underwear, untied bowtie hanging loosely from his neck. The sound of his uncle’s voice made it clear that he had all of five minutes to get ready before the cab arrived.

James rushed across the guestroom that had slowly turned into his own, falling while he tried to adjust his pants, tying the bowtie around his neck, doing his best to make his curls sit back as still as it was possible, a few unable to sit back that remained on his side. He took a deep breath looking at himself on the mirror, the suit his uncle had lent him was surprisingly fitting for himself, despite the pants being just slightly longer. As a final touch, he adjusted the long scarf around his neck, maybe he wasn’t able to go to the Doctor Who Night, but at least he would keep something of it with himself.

He rushed downstairs when the cab arrived, thanking his uncle in the way out through the door, missing the ghostly smile that formed on the man’s lips.

“Where to?” The driver asked, a man with a receding hairline, a buttoned shirt, looking at him through the rearview mirror. The moment James told him the Quinn’s address he made a comment about the English accent.

James rubbed his hands together, shifting on the seat, unable to find a comfortable position. Through the window on his side, he saw the houses pass by, a sinking feeling forming once again in his stomach, a soft realization hitting him.

Erin was waiting for who she called ‘The Biggest Ride on Derry’. In the very least, when she opened the door she would be disappointed to see that instead of John Paul, behind the would be the ‘Wee English Fella’ she had come accustomed to see as an extension of their friend group. Somehow, that hurt him more than it probably should have, after all, there was no harm in that, for him, Erin was also just a friend. A friend with a vivacious and loud laugh who made his heart soar, a friend with pretty eyes that seemed to throw fire when she was upset or Orla began to carefully quote her diary from memory, a friend who took extra time on her English assignments to make sure everything was perfectly composed, a friend who sometimes underestimated the sound of her own voice, but still made James happy to hear her, yes, Erin was just a friend and nothing more.

It was only natural disappointing other friends became nothing short of a dreadful horror that like a blackhole was threatening to open the depths of his stomach.

“Don’t be nervous English” The driver said, James turned his eyes to him, wondering how much of his current predicament was written across his face. “I’m sure if she’s willing to forgive the fact that you’re an English prick, you’ll be alright” James nodded silently, until the driver stopped in front of the Quinn’s household.

He got down the cab asking the driver to just wait for him a couple of minutes, he rubbed his hands together before ringing the doorbell. There were steps behind the door and he took a deep breath.

When the door opened, her eyes opened wide, and she smiled.

She looked beautiful.

\--.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

It seemed like the fourth time Erin rubbed her hands on her stained dress like if it would make a difference on her current state, not that he was keeping count of course. Michelle had gotten lost sometime during the night after the _Carrie_ incident, and Clare had gone to try to explain to any of the adults on the party how she and her friends had nothing to do with it. Grandpa Joe and Orla decided to keep dancing for a little longer.

Yet, despite the disaster and the fact that he hadn’t gotten the chance to dance with Erin -because, clearly, as his friend he wanted her to get the full prom experience, of course, there was no other reason- he couldn’t help but smile, both of them leaning against a wall outside of the room where the event was taking place.

“What are you so happy about? You are covered in Pig’s Blood” Erin questioned; eyebrow raised scrunching her nose.

“I’m pretty sure it’s just tomato juice” James murmured reaching his sleeve to sniff it trying not to think on his uncle’s reaction when he saw his suit had gotten completely stained.

“Still” Erin murmured. “I don’t understand what has you so happy. I mean, you missed your creep con… Doctor Who thing and ended up soaking on tomato juice” James smiled when she corrected herself, eyes focused ahead of himself.

“Hey, I couldn’t say no when your mother called me” He shrugged, and saw how her eyes fell for a second before she quickly raised and tried to cover it again.

“I get it, my mammy is quite fierce when she asks for something”

“Well, yes, that’s truth” James nodded “But that wasn’t why I accepted” He admitted. She turned to him, head slightly tilted and eyes sparkling, he hoped from the bottom of his heart the rush of blood he had felt rising to his own cheeks wasn’t visible.

“Then why did you agree?”

“There will be other Doctor Who Nights” James shrugged, “But this could be the chance of a lifetime taking the one Erin Quinn to prom”

She let out a heartfelt laugh, and for him it was like hearing tiny bells.

“Yeah, right”

“Hey, I’m serious” He laughed alongside his friend.

“Thank you” She mumbled softly, James reached to tug one hair stained on tomato juice and put it behind her ear. Before James could say anything, Orla was standing in front of them, telling Erin that their grandpa had said it was time for them to leave. Erin raised and James did the same, not missing the daggers Erin’s grandpa was throwing from the eyes looking in their direction.

“Will you be coming with us, James?” Orla questioned, James shook his head.

“I probably should find Michelle first, who knows what she got herself into” Orla nodded, leaping to where her Grandpa was, Erin lingered for a few seconds, remaining on her place.

There was a slow silence between them, James couldn’t figure out something to say, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Thank you” Erin said, standing on her tiptoes and giving him a fast kiss on the cheek, his eyes shot wide open and his heart skipped a beat. “I’ll see you later” She said, already rushing to where her Grandpa and cousin where already waiting. One of James’ hands lifted, waving a rather awkward goodbye, while the other touched the same spot where Erin had kissed him, a smile forming on his lips, his eyes following the girl until she was no longer visible.


	2. Consequences of Remembering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Again!  
> I hope everyone has a lovely day! and I hope you enjoy this story!

James groaned, trying to ignore his cousin sitting on his bed prying on what had happened the night of the Prom. She hadn’t stopped trying and seemed to take on every chance she got to try to get him to admit something, as to what it was, he wasn’t entirely sure.

“Piss off, Michelle” He said for what felt like the thousandth time. She sat cross legged, ignoring the boy’s annoyance, like she usually did.

“Not until you tell me what did you and Erin do when you were left all alone” It wasn’t the first time she had asked it, and James was sure it wouldn’t be the last one, he had his hands full with clean laundry trying to put it on its place, cleaning the mess in his bedroom.

“How do you even know we were alone?” He questioned, turning to her for a split second, watching her shrug picking a Dr. Who shirt from the bed and throwing it to the ground as if it burned, cleaning her hands afterwards.

“Orla told me” She shrugged.

“We just talked Michelle, it’s not that big of a deal. I don’t understand why do you insist on being a pain in the arse about it”

“I’m not being an arse you dick” She defended. “All I’m saying is that you decided not to be Clare’s date when you fully well knew her options were limited, yet drop everything in a second, five minutes before your creep convention…”

“It’s not a creep convention Michelle” He urged to correct.

“…to take Erin to Prom only to get bathed in tomato juice and you say you don’t regret it” She continued, as if he hadn’t spoken.

“His mom rang me Michelle, you know how scary Mrs. Quinn can be, I couldn’t say no”

“Yeah you could” She let out a single laugh “Unless… you didn’t want to” She raised her eyebrows, leaning forward slightly

“Piss Off Michelle. Leave me the fuck alone, will you?” James voice raised up, the clothes in his hands falling to the ground as he raised his hands, exasperated, ready to try and throw her out of the bedroom again, hoping this time she would actually comply and leave him alone.

“Oh, thank God” Michelle said, a breath of relief scaping through her, jumping up from the bed. “It would have been disgusting if you had actually been into Erin, can you imagine” She made throwing up gestures, before strutting out of his bedroom. He faintly heard her say, but not loud enough to understand or care about it.

James rolled his eyes, getting down to pick the clothes that had fallen from his hands, restraining himself from making any further comments that would stop his cousin from leaving his bedroom.

He couldn’t understand what would be so wrong if he actually were to be into Erin, not that he was, no. Erin was a dear friend, but if he were to like her, there should be nothing wrong with it.

His mind carefully traveled to the cheek she had kissed not too long ago, no one but him and her knew about it, not even Orla, otherwise Michelle would have heard about it and probably chastised Erin telling her that she had to wash her mouth to make sure she had not contracted any of those English germs. She would have made it a point to do so in front of James, so she could make sure the words had some sort effect on him.

As he lifted himself from the ground, he made a mental note to take his uncle’s suit to get washed with the money he had saved for the convention. His initial expectation that the moment his uncle saw him with the suit stained from head to toe he would get him reprimand of his life was quickly dismissed. Instead, he had looked at both teenagers, eyebrows raised, his mouth twisting until a loud laughter came out of it, Michelle seemed to be as baffled as he was.

Deidre had made more of a (justified) fuss about the stained carpet.

James’ wouldn’t admit to any of the girls, that the sole regret he had from the prom was the fact that he hadn’t been able to dance with Erin.

Because that’s what friends do for each other.

_Right._

Without any garment in his hands, he looked at the undone bed and the open suitcase near it, the things he was supposed to take to the convention still on it. It was all he had left to do so he could be able to tell his bedroom was clean, that, and check under the bed to make sure there was no trash under it. He still wasn’t completely sure why his aunt made extra sure to check under the beds and when he had asked Michelle about it she had said something along the lines of “ _A fucking weird smell under my bed_ ” and “ _Mind your fucking, business English prick_ ”

James sat on the edge of the bed, trying to get a clear view of what he had left to do, still trying to wrap his head around the enthusiasm Michelle had shown, it was the biggest showcase of curiosity she had showed for his private life. Not even the whole thing with Katya had sparked the tiniest bit of curiosity out of her.

He knelt on the ground, carefully removing everything from inside the suitcase. Putting the small bits of memorabilia on the nightstand near his bed, it didn’t take him long to empty the suitcase, putting it at the bottom of his closet.

As he was doing the bed, his mind began to wonder, until it sat down at a memory of a night they had stayed at Erin’s house, trying to get as ready as they possibly could for their math exam. While he wasn’t one of the best students on the subject by any means, he was the only one of the group who constantly got passing grades on it. This was mostly due to the fact that Erin focused most of her attention in her writing, Michelle didn’t care about the class, Clare got so stressed about understanding that it caused her to lose focus, and Orla, well, she was Orla so the task to explain everything to the girls had fallen onto him.

It was a little past midnight and Michelle had been the first one to desert, throwing herself onto Erin’s bed dismissing any concerns coming from anyone else promising she would try again as soon as she woke up. The two next had been Clare and Orla who had parted to Orla’s bedroom because every second they looked at Clare she looked a step closer to a heart attack. Orla had told Clare she would tell her bedtime stories about the time Erin felt to a pond to Erin’s annoyance, particularly when Orla told Clare she could tell her any day from Erin’s diary she wanted to.

Only him and Erin remained on the floor of the bedroom, and he was trying his best to put the entirety of his attention on the problem written in front trying to fully understand it himself before he could be able to explain it to her. Trying to not stare too much at her eyebrows furrowed, the one pencil on her hair holding her hair up, her lips pursued, looking at the problem in front of herself. A silly smiled rose to James’ lips before he lowered his eyes again.

“You are saying I need to add these two, before I can put these two together?” Erin’s voice made James turn his head to her, and she was looking at him, head slightly tilted, and he hoped she wouldn’t see the heat that rose to his cheeks.

“Yes, that is correct” He said simple, scribbling on his own equation, he didn’t notice her eyes lingering on him for a second longer, a soft smile on her face. A couple hours later, proud of understanding everything just a little bit more she threw herself onto the bed. He didn’t dare to move from the floor, only waking up the next morning when Michelle decided a kick on the stomach was the best way to wake someone up.

They had a party that very same Saturday, a well needed break Michelle would call it, against Clare’s pleas to go back to studying, that if she failed again her mother would show her not a trace of mercy.

He couldn’t even remember the name of the owner of the house, or if anyone had mentioned it at all. What he could recall with vivid clarity was the fella who insisted on talking to Erin. He was nearly the same height as James, and clearly, he was very interested in Erin, takin every bit of her attention.

He saw red and swallowed a lump forming on his throat, taking the first glass with liquor he could find, the only thing he had drank in the entirety of the night. For a second, the idea of meddling into their conversation felt far too tempting, yet, when he turned their way Erin waved at him, a soft smile looking at him before her attention turned back to the other guy. All eagerness for interrupting her conversation fading away and instead traded by a hole on his chest as he tried to follow the conversation a girl called Briana wanted to make him. Even when at some point during the party, he had gotten lost with Briana, the excitement of what had happened was little compared to when he realized Erin was sitting on a couch, talking gleefully to Clare instead of the other boy whose entire attention was focused on some other girl now.

His eyes opened wide, as he froze in his bedroom. It felt as if the room had grown in size, his heart stopping for all of a brief second, but it had been enough. He hadn’t told anyone about Briana, or what had happened that night, but the direction his thoughts had taken felt like a slap bringing the sense back to him.

He threw himself over the recently made up bed, sinking on the mattress. His hands reaching for his forehead until his fingers sunk on his curls dragging them back, just after he realized the path his thoughts had taken.  
Because that was not the way friends thought about other friends.

The realization felt like a bucket of freezing water, James didn’t need anything else to know he was fucked.


	3. Goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> I wanted to thank everyone who has been reading this story, leaving kudos and bookmarking it, this is amazing thank you all so much. We are halfway through the story so, please, let me know what you think of it! Thank you again, and have a lovely day!

Mary had never been a big fan of Kathy, even when they were younger, it had been an instant distaste that went back all the way to when they were barely children and she was often home because Sarah insisted on doing group projects with her and it grew just like they did. In a small way, Michelle sometimes reminded her of Kathy, the way she talked about other people, especially boys or the way she conducted herself. The main difference was, you can easily tell where Michelle loyalty lies and you knew she wouldn’t leave behind those she loves, or those she claims she loves. Michelle would go along with her friends no matter the stupidity of the idea and would refuse the blame when it was hers but never pin it on someone she considered her friend.

She would have never been able to say the same thing about Kathy, not even now, as she was standing in her living room asking for the permission to use her phone. James standing close to her, eyes like a hopeful child promised the best possible present for Christmas.

It broke Mary’s heart, especially after he defended her, “A lot going on” wasn’t an excuse for not ask for the boy’s wellbeing, and thanks to Deidre, Mary knew for a fact she hadn’t even questioned if James was adjusting well.

If it had been entirely up to her and she and Kathy had been alone she would have told her just everything she thought about her, about the fact she left her kid behind without as much as a goodbye, about the fact she was returning now out of thin air talking proudly about a sticker business like if was the next best thing, but she couldn’t, not in front of James.

Not when he seemed so happy to even be talking to her.

She tried not to think too much in the oddity of it, of a teenage boy grateful for getting the chance of seeing his mother and spending five minutes in the same room as her.

-.-.-.-.

He hadn’t stopped to contemplate how difficult it could be. James had been too wrapped on the excitement of living with his mom once again, helping her with her business that he hadn’t fully grasped the concept of saying goodbye. The lump that was forming in his throat as soon as the words came out, with the four girls in front of him staring at him like if he had slapped them across the face. He tried not to look at them for too long, knowing himself well enough that he would end up cracking.

“ _You love it here_ ” Erin had said. She probably was grasping at any straw she could to get him to stay, they all were.

 _‘I love_ you’ James had thought, but didn’t dare to say, what was the point in telling her anything when he had already taken the choice about leaving.

Michelle chasing him out had come as a surprise, but it wouldn’t make him hesitate. Not even when he knew there was the small ghost of truth in her words. He didn’t want to entertain that part of him that believed in her words, there was no way his mother could have any ulterior motives, not after being away for two years.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

James eyes turned every five seconds to look behind, Derry wasn’t his home, it was never meant to be his home. He would return to England and see his friends there, they would probably have a thousand questions about everything that had happened. He would tell them how he had peed on a trash bin on the very first day of school, he would tell them about sneaking out to go to a concert and befriending JohnJon, he would tell them about Katya, about Orla uniqueness, about Clare and how she always was ten seconds away from a nervous attack, about Michelle and her constant teasing, he would tell them all about Erin, and the fun he had taking her to Prom.

_Erin._

James wasn’t sure if he wanted to talk too much about her, if he did, it would make the fact that he had left Derry far too real.

“You will be glad to get out of this hole,” Kathy said adjusting her hair, looking at herself in the mirror, James turned to her, as if coming out of a trance. “I know I am”

She was right, all things considered, he should be glad to get out of the hole called Derry, No more teasing coming from Michelle, no more getting dragged into trouble just because he was with his friends, no one in London would call him _English prick,_ or _Wee English fella_. Why wasn’t he? Why did the sad faces on the girls refused to leave his mind? Why did he keep turning every five seconds to get a view of the city reminiscing everything that had happened in there in just two years?

“You will be glad to see your friends again. Our neighbor, do you remember her? Annoying woman” She continued, James nodded, he had liked her, sometimes when Kathy had been out and his step-father had called him saying he would stay late working she invited him for dinner “she has been going on and on about how her son was James’ this and James’ that. It will be an improvement instead of those friends you got here”

William was a good friend, surely, he wasn’t as mental as the people in Derry. James enjoyed his friendship and the time he had spent with him, he was one of the few people he had sent letters to, after his mother had changed her address without telling him a word about it.

“I beg your pardon?” James tested, eyebrows furrowed, not missing the way he had spoken about the girls.

“Well, you can’t tell me they are the best people you could have encountered, I mean, screaming like that in the middle of the day” Kathy closed the mirror which made a clicking noise before she threw it in her purse, James tensed, stopping himself from rolling his eyes.

“They didn’t know you, mom” He tries, he doesn’t miss the way she wasn’t looking at him at all, her eyes entirely on the window. He began to wonder when had been the last time she had listened to him attentive, and not reacted to his story just for the sake of making him think she was listening.

“Still, a little bit over the top, don’t you think, love?” This time she glances at him, as if expecting him to agree to everything she was saying like he had been doing on the two days of her visit.

“Turn around” James was surprised such words had left his mouth. Yet, he didn’t feel the need to take them back at all. His mom was looking at him, surprised.

“James, what are you…?”

“Tell the driver to turn around, please, mum” He insisted, hoping it wasn’t too far from Derry or that his aunt and uncle would take him back again.

“You know we can’t” Kathy said firm, with a movement of the hand, dismissing him, entirely. He recognized the movement and had always thought it meant ‘I’m busy, we’ll talk later’ now, it felt like ‘I don’t care’.

“Stop the cab” He shifted, the driver glanced through the rear-view mirror, waiting to see how it would end.

“James, I don’t know…”

“Mum, I want to stay” He said, his voice firm, devoid of any trace of doubt in it.

“Why would you want to stay here?” She was taken aback, a clear distaste in her voice, not regretting her son had decided not to go with her, instead, more horrified her son wanted to stay on _Derry_ , instead of going to London.

James thought about his Aunt Deidre with a scowl on her face leaving early for work on his birthday, leaving his favorite breakfast on the table so he could see it when he woke up.

He thought about his uncle, lending him his old suit, knowing he would need it, and instead of being angry, laughing at the fact he had returned soaking in tomato juice.

He thought about Mary Quinn, treating him kindly. Welcoming him in her house without question as if he had always been Erin and Orla’s friend.

He thought about Joe telling him to take care of the tent and forgetting about it all of two seconds later.

He thought about Clare, always sweet five seconds away from a nervous crisis doing her best to keep the group with their feet on the ground.

He thought about Orla, asking why he spoke the way he did, but being all the same sweet to him.

He thought about Michelle’s recent reality check and how she overdid the innuendos despite his annoyance to them, how she walked around without a care of what other people would think about her.

He thought about Erin, walking down the stairs in her Easter dress, looking beautiful, about the way she rambled proud of what she wrote, being the first one to notice his presence when he trailed nervous behind Michelle, because he hadn’t been informed he would be attending an all-girls school, he thought about her eyes when he was leaving and about the kiss she had given him in the cheek.

“Because I am a Derry Girl” He beamed with pride. The driver snickered, but his mother looked at him as if he had grown a second head.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Erin couldn’t focus on the cacophony of voices behind her, or in the possibility of seeing the president from the best spot in all of Derry. She couldn’t even bring herself to pretend to be happy, and it would only take a glance at the girls to know they all felt the same way.

What was there to be happy about?

She would have traded Bill Clinton for James Maguire in a heartbeat. If she was given the choice between Bill Clinton visiting Derry, or James staying with them, she would have taken the choice with the eyes closed.

Erin wanted to be angry at James, after all, he had been the one who had taken the choice to leave them. The one who had decided to live in England of all places. She couldn’t find the strength in her to direct any spiteful words to the boy even if they were on the depths of her mind, instead she shut her eyes tight for a second to stop any tears from coming out of them, James was gone, possibly forever.

James was unique, she couldn’t say she had met anyone like him in all the time she had been living in Derry, while, sure, the accent might have been a headache to get used to, she had grown to enjoy it. It was an amazing feeling knowing she could yell his name in the middle of a crowd and identifying him just by the sound of his voice would have been easy. He was calm and while he was always the one to get dragged into trouble by the ideas they proposed, he didn’t complain about it and took whatever punishment was given to them with dignity. She still remembered his first day and how defeated he looked by the end of the day as if he had already assumed that was now his life.

She had to force herself not to think too much on the night of the prom, because she knew she would end up crying, and she didn’t want to have to explain to anyone why he had cried in front of a president.

Erin kept it to herself, something she thought she would have the chance to tell him on some night she knew he would be too drunk to remember. Now, she would never get the chance, so it was something she would have to live with for the rest of her life. It would be a good source of inspiration to create poetry out of, heartbreak always was.

Lately, every time she was around James had felt like carefully tiptoeing on a tight rope, unsure of what was below her, thoroughly convincing herself each morning she saw him before they took the bus that he was her friend, her friend and nothing more.

When that good-looking guy had been talking to her at the party, she couldn’t bring herself to give him all her attention, convincing herself that it was because as good-looking as he was, he was no David or John-Paul. Instead, she followed James with the eyes until he was with some girl she couldn’t recognize. Then, she tried to stop the lump that formed on her throat that made her want to go after him and chase the girl away. She had attributed it at the simple feeling of wanting to protect a friend from making a terrible choice.

There were many things Erin had wanted to tell James, many things she wanted to ask him, that night, and many others. Now, as she saw his denim jacket fading away in the crowd, she had discovered what was below the tightrope.

“I see him!” Orla had claimed, pulling her by the shirt, Erin didn’t even bother to look at her cousin.

“You’re looking at the other side, Orla” Erin answered back, her voice devoid of any emotion as Bill Clinton walked on the stage, greeting the people.

“No, look!” Orla began jumping, forcing Erin to look behind.

When her eyes finally saw _him_ standing in his denim jacket, smiling, his figure unmistakable from the crowd, her heart took a leap in her chest, and a smile reached her lips while her eyes filled with tears.


	4. Questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! It's been a while I know, but I'm glad to be back again! Only this and the next chapter and the story is over. So, I hope you like this chapter and thank you for stopping by. Have a lovely day!

There was no scolding because everyone in the school had decided not to show up, Sister Michael seemed to be keen on pretending it hadn’t happened at all. The slow tic toc of the clock on the wall of the classroom felt like a slow drumming on Erin’s mind as she tried to stop herself from glancing behind every so often, unsuccessfully so, she wasn’t made of stone and so far she had glanced at least twice in just the last hour. The first time, she saw James furrowing his eyebrows trying to make sense out of what was written on the board, the second she believed she saw a tint of pink in his cheeks as he looked through the window, head on his hand.

Granted, it was normal to try and find other things to entertain yourself with rather than dozing off during a particularly uneventful history class, yet, she couldn’t help but notice than ever since the whole _James nearly left Derry_ incident she spent a little longer looking at him than what a friend probably should, and she begged no one else in the group had noticed.

They probably hadn’t, otherwise she wouldn’t have heard the end of it.

When the bell rang, there was a collective sigh of relief from the classroom, Erin heard Michelle say something about how relieved she was they had no homework for the afternoon and Orla talk about the nice nap she had taken when the teacher had begun talking about the industrial revolution.

After they left the school, the road back home was mostly filled with Michelle’s complaints, as she walked ahead of the group talking about how she couldn’t wait until the week was over because she was invited to a cracker party and by extension the rest of the group was as well. Erin tried not to make a big deal about the fact that as he walked past her, James’ hand had brushed with hers and the air had hitched in her throat. He didn’t show any reaction, trying to follow Michelle on the way to their home.

“So long motherfuckers!” Michelle claimed taking a leap, behind her, James awkwardly lifted his hand before following his cousin by the tail. It was easy to hear Michelle’s voice rushing him to catch up with her.

She didn’t realize how long she had been staring at James’ back as he left.

“Are you coming Erin?” Clare questioned, her voice bringing Erin back to where they were, Clare was looking at Erin, clearly confused as to why she hadn’t moved, Orla was moving around the puddles of the night before jumping careful as to not to step on any of them and receive a scolding from Mary when she walked into the house with her shoes wet.

“I wasn’t doing anything” Erin’s mind seemed to move before her mind could even make a cohesive answer. “What I could possibly be doing? Nothing, not at all, of course not. I was just checking there weren’t any cars coming so we could cross the street safely” Erin’s cheek tinted a light red and she began to rush her steps doing her best effort to avoid Clare’s curious eyes.

“What cars, Erin? There weren’t any cars at all” Clare said trying to match her friend’s pace, Orla leapt to their side.

“I saw you staring at James’ back” Orla mumbled, standing on her tiptoes in front of a puddle before jumping over it. Erin cursed, wishing her cousin had stayed quiet even if it wasn’t in her nature.

“Why were you looking at James’ back?” Clare tried walking a little faster.

“I wasn’t looking at James’ back” Erin lied, letting out a fake laugh “I just saw James had a wee stain on his back”

“Aye, so you were looking” Orla intertwined once more, talking as if she had made a big discovery.

“He didn’t have anything in his back”

“Aye, he did Clare, you should have noticed” Erin said, Clare mumbled by her side, but she didn’t fully understand what she had said, nor was she going to ask and risk getting questioned again by Clare on the reason why was she staring at James’ back, because there was no reason for her to. She knew it.

-.-.-.-.-.-.--.-.

Erin stared at her reflection in the mirror, it was a miracle they were allowed to go to the party. She had noticed that recently her mother had been a little more lenient when granting her permission, an oddity in the Quinn-McCool household, when going to the shopping center usually required a big interview. She didn’t know who or what to thank for her mother’s newly found mercy but she hoped that from wherever that mysterious force was, they could feel her gratitude.

Especially when John-Paul had been the one to invite them.

She was surprised about the fact she held little to none grudge against him for the Prom incident. Granted, holding grudges against boys she liked had never been something she had excelled at. The fact that she had been seconds away from missing the party because he had ditched her should at least mark any significance in the way she saw him, give her a distaste for him at the very least.

When Michelle had commented straight to her face that they had seen John Paul and he had invited them to a party in his house despite Clare’s attempts to make the blow the mere idea of seeing him could cause her smaller. Erin had shrugged it off, her eyes, however, didn’t miss the way James’ rolled the mention of his name.

She was putting her mascara over her eyelashes when the door was swung open and Michelle was the first one to walk inside, wearing a denim skirt as she threw herself onto the bed followed closely by Clare, Orla and James, the boy remained standing hands inside his denim jacket looking around Erin’s bedroom.

“Hurry up” Michelle said, groaning. “We are gonna get there late”

“I don’t exactly think punctuality is something John Paul thinks it’s important, Michelle” James mumbled, eyes entirely on the ground, Erin saw him through the mirror curious.

“Who is talking about John Paul, you prick?” Michelle threw a pillow at him he held it in his hands before putting it back where it had been before “Everyone knows attractive people know other attractive people, that means John Paul might have many handsome friends”

“I am ready” Erin turned leaning against the vanity, head leaning in a failed attempt to look nonchalant, Orla was playing with her fingers, Clare was sitting on the edge of the bed looking around at the mess dispersed across Erin’s bedroom, Michelle was laying on the bed, arms extended like if she just arriving home after a tiresome day, James was looking through the window towards the empty street. Right after she spoke he turned to her for a brief second and then continued looking at the street.

“Fucking finally” Michelle said lifting herself from the bed hitting Orla on the side on the process. She let out a complain and opened her eyes wide. “Off we go, motherfuckers”

They waltzed out of Erin’s bedroom following Michelle who lead the path with the rest behind her in bee line.

“You look good” James mumbled so low and quickly as he walked past Erin that a part of her believed he wasn’t supposed to tell her. Still, another part of her who ended up the one ruling most of her thinking propped her to stand up straight and walk out of her bedroom proud, trailing behind him.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

There wasn’t anything particularly unexpected about John Paul’s party. It was like every other party the girl had been to before, the only oddity about it was that his house was bigger than Jenny’s, that there was a seemingly endless amount of alcohol and that even Aisling was there chatting with some of their classmates while Jenny was nowhere to be seen.

Erin, Orla, James, Michelle and Clare had walked into the party together and by some miraculous array of destiny, they remained like that for a couple of hours, squeezing together in one of the sofas.

“That guy totally looked at me” Michelle said pointing at a guy sitting on the couch talking with another, Erin leaned over to see the guy more clearly, he sure was handsome, he had dark hair, had muscle and he was laughing when Michelle pointed at him.

“Are you sure about that Michelle?” Clare interfered, frowning, noticing the guy seemed enthralled enough talking to his friends.

“What are you implying Clare? That he wouldn’t look at me?” Propping herself out of her spot in the middle of the sofa.

“No, no I never said that Michelle” Clare mumbled, her voice a pitch higher, Michelle rolled her eyes.

“I’m gonna ride him” She vowed directing to him with sure steps. Erin furrowed her eyebrows briefly amused when Michelle made room for her in the couch, both boys turned to her while she remained listening to them talk, taking the opportunity to introduce herself.

“Hey” A familiar voice claimed, and Erin turned to see Aisling standing unstill in her place, her finger tapping on the red cup in her hand.

“Yes?” Clare questioned, eyebrows slightly furrowed with her head tilted. Erin turned to James who pointed to Aisling, then to Erin and then to his shoulder, Erin opened her eyes wide.

“Have you seen the balcony? John’s mum made it look very pretty” She spoke after a few seconds of silence.

“I don’t think I have” Clare tested, her head tilted.

“Would you like to?” Aisling’s eyebrows were together and the words came fast, her eyes were wide like Erin’s, who was listening attentive. Clare’s mouth hung open for a few seconds and Erin knew her friend was evaluating the possibility that it was some sort of prank.

“Are we allowed to?” Clare questioned blinking and looking at the floor and then at Aisling.

“Maybe not” Aisling shrugged with a sly smile, “but I know where my aunt leaves her keys, are you coming?” Clare glanced at James first who tilted his head with a small smile and then to Erin who enthusiastically nodded.

“I’d be delighted to go” Clare said following Aisling.

Erin moved from the other side of the sofa to the arm where James was, both with clear smiles on their faces.

“You don’t think that…” Erin mumbled turning to see the path Clare and Aisling had taken. They had already gotten lost amongst the people.

“It looks like it” James laughed passing one hand over his hair.

“Where is Orla by the way?” Erin questioned looking around. James stood taller and straighter by Erin’s side making her blush. She tried to put her attention somewhere else when his jacket brushed her side.

“There she is and she’s with someone” Erin’s ears sparked up and she tried standing in her tiptoes to see if she could find her cousin. It wasn’t very hard, Orla had a habit of sticking out no matter where she went.

“Who?” Erin questioned until she saw Orla, she couldn’t hear her, but she finally managed to identify the person listening to her attentively as David Donnelly, then the two of them laughed “This got to be a joke”

“What’s the matter?” James questioned.

“I had this massive crush on him and I could bet you he and Orla are gonna date” Erin spoke.

“That doesn’t sound terrible, and you don’t think you are overreacting a bit, I mean, they are just chatting” James pointed out.

“When have you ever seen Orla look so attentive at someone” Erin pointed “Look at her, she hasn’t pulled her hunting knives out once”

“It can’t be…” James’ eyes opened wide.

Erin nodded silently, considering how long it would take Orla to take David to her parents’ house and introduce him to the family. Still, while there wasn’t any particular injury that closed her feelings for David, she couldn’t help but marvel on the irony of the situation, thankful when James’ decided to change the topic to ‘Murder she Wrote’.

Time flew fast, Erin’s only indicator of this what the clock carefully hanging from one of the walls, saw how Orla and David occasionally vanished only to appear again. However, it had been Clare who had made it the clearest when she approached her almost scared.

“Aisling said her mom could give me a ride back home” Clare mumbled staring in between her friends and the girl with glasses. “Do you mind if I go? Because I can stay, and I will stay if you want to”

“Clare, is fine. Take the ride” Erin nodded watching how Clare smiled to her words

“Alright” Clare beamed and followed Aisling.

Erin and James looked at each other for a few seconds in silence, a silent questioning on the situation and a promise to not make any comment about it until Clare told them what had happened. She would ask her the second she saw her.

James was leaning against the sofa with his hands inside his jacket looking around for nothing in particular, or a least nothing Erin was aware of. The music was loud across the place, and she was sitting on the arm of the sofa, behind her was a couple or it had been a few minutes ago, she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to turn and the silent between her and James had become somewhat deafening after Clare’s goodbye.

“Have you finished the book report?” Erin tried, he lifted his head shaking slightly, as if he had not been aware she was talking to him.

“Sorry the… Oh, the book report, yes, I’m nearly done. Well, actually, I was already done but Michelle threw her tea all over it and I had to redo it” James complained, Erin nodded solemnly.

“Aw” Erin muttered “A shame, it must’ve been dreadful to have to redo it” James nodded silently.

“What about you?” He asked looking at her, she smiled proud putting her hands in her waist standing straight

“I finished my report ages ago” She spoke “I’m quite prolific with words as I’m sure I’ve mentioned before”

“What book was it about?” The question made her blush, she didn’t like admit it she had a pendant for romantic books all the same she enjoyed more intellectual stories. For the book report, however, she had chosen Emma.

“That’s not important. What maters is the content of the report” She tried to dismiss with a brush of her hand noticing how he raised an eyebrow, amused smile on his face.

“No, I’m pretty sure the book is pretty important too” He smiled, tilting his head.

“A bunch of bull. You can make amazing reports out of crappy books” Erin crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“And also crappy reports about amazing books”

“Still” Erin scrunched her nose “My book report is great.”

“It sure must be” He smiled, and she wasn’t entirely sure of what possessed her when she hit his shoulder slightly. Not the way they got along, and he seemed to have caught onto it based on the look of confusion that briefly crossed his eyes.

“Hey!” He complained, but he laughed nonetheless, her cheeks flushed pink and she tried to look anywhere that wasn’t the boy.

“I’m going to get something to drink, do you want anything?” She decided, taking a step forward and turning to him.

“I’m good, thank you, wouldn’t you want me to go with you?” He stood up straight looking at the kitchen like if it was the ugly path in the middle of the woods.

“No!” Erin exclaimed, but it came out in a panicked tone that set James aback “No” She tried again, tilting her head to the side “No, I’ll be good. Just wait for me here and don’t move, I’ll be back in a minute” She tried to dwell on the way his eyebrows were slightly furrowed, his green eyes looking at her confused and his mouth on a line.

Erin silently chastised herself. Trying not to dwell too much on the reasoning as of why she had decided hitting his shoulder had been a good idea. It clearly wasn’t, but she couldn’t find any reason as of why she had done it. The drunk people she was walking past and carefully trying to avoid didn’t seem to be of any sort of help to provide any solution to her current predicament.

Erin began walked until she was in the kitchen, not very far from where she was before, but if avoiding drunks somehow turned into some sort of Olympic sport, she believed she had a good chance of winning it. In the kitchen, some of the parts where she stepped on were sticky, and she shuddered looking around for something to drink trying not to touch the counter more than necessary.

“So, you and James, huh?” A voice to her right spoke and Erin turned to it startled, the red cup shaking in her hand, besides her was Fiona Murphy was leaning nonchalantly against the counter wearing a short skirt.

“Me and James, what?” Erin questioned, her head tilted before she took a drink.

“He took you to prom” Fiona commented with her head tilted and a smile in her lips, Erin had heard of Fiona, but never actually interacted with her, Michelle was more her friend. She had heard of her reputation, though. The girl had ears all over Derry, if anything happened, she probably had heard about it so if you needed information of whatever that you thought might have happened, she was the one you could ask.

_‘Because John-Paul stood me up’_ “Aye, he did” Erin nodded.

“And now he hasn’t left you side”

“That’s because we always get lost and the last time my mum and his aunt were absolutely pissed” She shrugged, while Fiona’s eyes scanned her.

“Right” Fiona simply nodded, her lips pursued “So are two together?” He questioned.

“No! No, no! Absolutely not, me and James! Pffff of course not! Have you smoked anything odd? As if! He’s English Fiona _English_ ” Erin whispered English as if it was some sort of forbidden word, her mind remembering the many times James’ eyes rolled when his origin was mentioned.

“Aye” Fiona nodded “So you two aren’t together, but you fancy him” It wasn’t a question, and when she pointed an accusatory at finger, Erin’s face got red.

“No! You know he’s English Fiona, I wouldn’t dare to…You know what? I’m leaving”

When Erin turns around she began to mull over Fiona’s words, her eyes on the liquid of the cup begging Fiona wouldn’t tell anyone, a very unlikely outcome. There of course wasn’t anything to reveal, she just really liked James’ green eyes and thought they were pretty and had once written a poem about about them and hidden it where she knew Orla wouldn’t find it. She also had wondered what it would feel like to pass her hand through his curls a couple of times. So no, she didn’t have anything to worry about.

Until her body collided with someone else’s her and the red cup she was holding balances in her hand with half of it dropping over her dark blue blouse and a few drops falling on the shirt of the guy in front of her. She looked up to see who she had crashed against and saw a pair of eyes staring angry at her closely accompanied by the characteristic smell of alcohol.

“I’m so so sorry” Erin tried taking a step back “Maybe there’s a way I can clean that up, if I just” she looked around to see if there was any napkin or anything that would help clean the guy’s shirt around. His eyes pierced.

“You should look where you’re going!” The words came out slurred but the guy’s voice was loud and boisterous, Erin took a step back “Now my shirt is ruined and it’s your fault!”

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly say is ruined…” Erin mumbled staring at the three drops on the shirt as she took a second step back.

“What?” He tilted his head, jaw tense.

“What I mean is, there are like three drops in it, meanwhile my shirt, well, this one is quite ruined, wouldn’t you agree?” She pointed at her own blouse in a desperate attempt that the alcohol would make her sound funnier than what she actually was being.

“Are you getting all smart at me?” The guy’s voice was even louder as he took a step forward to her, Erin wanted to move, to run, but her feet stopped answering to her.

“No, me? Smart? Never, no, no”

“Look…” The guy wasn’t able to finish his sentence before he was pulled by the neck of the shirt by someone, who Erin quickly realized was James. The guy looked at him startled.

“Piss off, will you?” James said, Erin had never seen him so tense, with eyebrows furrowed, jawline tense, lips in a thin line and eyes that seemed to throw fire when they stared at the guy in front of her. If Erin wasn’t attracting attention before, James’ act of courage had done the trick because people were staring at them now

“Who the fuck are you?” The guy questioned, standing straight.

“What does it even matter? Did I not make myself clear? _Piss off_ ” The guy was significantly taller than James, and it seemed like a part of him was flabbergasted that James had decided to put up a fight with him, or attempt to at the very least.

“You are the one who should go and fuck off. This is none of your business English prick!”

Erin expected that at any second James would apologize and tell her to follow him and quietly retreat the scene and they would laugh about the craziness of how everything had unfolded.

“It is of my business that you are walking around like a fucking Neanderthal terrifying my friend” He wasn’t bulging, instead his voice was louder.

“She should have looked where she was going” He took a step closer to James.

“Maybe if you weren’t as wasted as you are maybe you would have seen there was someone in the way instead of walking around like a fucking closet!”

Erin would have laughed if anyone had ever told her what had happened next, because James was simply not like that. If Michelle who was the bolder one out of the bunch would have hesitated to fight someone visibly larger than her (although Orla definitely wouldn’t have, she would have jumped at the slightest opportunity to fight someone significantly larger than her) there was no way James Maguire, the always calm and sane James Maguire would have been the first to throw a punch to a guy larger than him hard enough to make him stumble backwards and fall to the ground. It had happened at a regular speed, Erin was sure, but it still felt too fast. She put the red cup on one of the chairs and took advantage of the time it took the guy to stand up to grab James’ hand and walk away as fast as her feet allowed because even him seemed to be surprised by his feat.

Her feet didn’t stop, and he never did any attempt to do as such until they were both outside, standing on the sidewalk.

“What was that?” Erin questioned, trying to regain the air, watching as his cheeks flushed pink and his hands were in the inside of his jacket. “What’s gotten into you, James?”

“That…” He said looking around, to the lamp above their heads or to the people sitting together blissfully ignoring them.

“I mean, I had no idea you could hit someone like that, or that you could hit anyone in particular, but you must know how unsafe that was” She crossed her arms and he tilted his head raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah… wait, what?” He wasn’t entire sure on what to say.

“James’ you said so yourself, he was a massive fucking walking closet, you could have gotten injured” She scolded.

“ _I_ could have gotten injured? Erin, the guy was practically two seconds away of stepping on you” He raised his voice slightly pointing at himself and then at Erin.

“I would have found a way out” She mumbled, lying. There was no possible safe way out of that situation if no one intertwined. “You didn’t have to defend me”

“You are right, I didn’t have to.” James conceded “But I did it anyways”

“Why?” The question seemed to have taken James by surprise and he blinked a couple times staring at Erin she was standing directly under the light of the lamp and he had to put one hand over his hair to ease his own nerves. Erin observed how the curls bounced back when the hand went over them.

“Because people always protect the people they love and you are my friend, we are supposed to help each other out of danger whether it is from Ukrainians or from scary closet looking guys” He said, before Erin could add anything else Michelle and Orla marched out of the house one by one, claiming they had looked around for them everywhere and that some guy had almost caused a fight.

The smile the gave to each other, was a promise.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Instead of waking up by the sound of her alarm, the morning following the party she was awoken by the distinct sensation of someone jumping in the bed right besides her. Erin opened her eyes slowly, noticing how Michelle was sitting on the side of her bed and silently thankful she hasn’t decided to take a rougher approach like throw things at her or directly push her off the bed so she would collide against the floor.

“Get up loser, we are hanging out” She gave her a slap in the shoulder to which Erin complained.

“What about the rest?” Erin rose slowly, rubbing her eyes “Orla is at the dentist and she’s going to be funny all day, and Clare has that thing with her parents and James is…”

“Fast asleep at home. I said we are going out and like fuck I will take a no for an answer” Michelle said pulling Erin from her arm “You and me are going to walk around and get wasted until we boke our brains out”

“We have school tomorrow Michelle” Erin tried to reason, but Michelle rolled her eyes letting her fall on the bed again.

“You are right, we might want to keep our brains there and ready for Math class” Michelle rolled her eyes. “Maybe that way it won’t turn into a sleep-inducing torture”

Mary had been surprisingly lenient. So, Michelle had been able to pull her all the way to the shopping center. Erin was surprised at first when Michelle had decided to take her to hang out, mostly because she was the first to defend they were pack animals until she began talking about the guy she had sworn was looking at her during the party.

She wanted someone to who she could brag about the things going so well she now had a date with the guy.

“What happened at the party?” Michelle questioned taking a drink from a soda she had bought, Erin tilted her head confused at first, until she realized her question, as her brain did a desperate attempt to reason thing through. There was no way someone could have told Michelle about the almost fight in the span of a couple of hours.

“Was something supposed to happen?” Erin tried. Semi-denial.

“Well, you tell me. When we tried to get back home he didn’t say shit about the party, like, seriously, not a fucking word. That’s creepy even for James. This morning I tried to wake him and he had put a lock to his bedroom, he never does that” Michelle crossed her arms.

“Maybe he got sick of you kicking his ribcage to wake him up”

“How else am I supposed to wake him up? Anyways, figured you might know since for a while none of us saw the two of you”

“I lost him too” Erin lied, looking at her shoes “Don’t know what could have happened”

“Are you lying to me, Erin?” Michelle raised an eyebrow, and her tone was a little too similar to Deirdre’s. 

“Are you worried about James?” Erin taunted back, anything that would help distract Michelle.

“Like fuck am I worried about him, of course not”

Michelle was about to ask more about the party, but Erin was leaning forwards, scrunched taking the last bits of chips out of her bag and decided not to press more on the matter, nor ask why had that girl stopped her to tell her how her cousin had an amazing right hook.

-.-.-.-.-.-.

“No way!” Clare beamed; the girls leaned forward listening attentive to James while they were on the road back home. After Clare had spoken in detail about what she and Aisling had been doing, which could be summarized on mostly talking and Orla had talked about David Donnelly and how he had listed to her talk about her multiple hunting knives it had become James’ turn to share. Michelle insisted it had to be him, with all the time he had happened inside, something interesting he must’ve gotten to tell.

And indeed he did.

“Fiona Murphy asked you out _the_ Fiona Murphy” Michelle said eyes wide open.

“That is impressive James, very impressive” Orla nodded with respect.

“I don’t think we should trust her” Erin felt a string pull her heart, not sure if it was from heartbreak or from guilt. “This Fiona Murphy we are talking about. She might want something out of James”

“Erin, wake up, James doesn’t know anyone” Michelle scolded

“He knows us!” Erin tried, despite understanding Michelle’s point in its entirety.

“Erin, no offense, but if it was your information she wanted she could simply just ask Orla, everyone at the school knows she parades your diary around” Michelle said

“I actually have it with me right now”

“Orla for fuck’s sake! Give me that!” Erin rushed, pulling Orla’s schoolbag trying to open it by force while the other girl refused to let her do it.

“Orla, we’re doing the schoolwork at my house” Michelle claimed when they reached the cross where the path separated the group.

“Why at your house?” Erin furrowed her eyebrows.

“Yesterday that I went with you I might have done it to avoid doing my chores, and my mom totally overreacted and grounded me for a week” Michelle explained rolling her eyes.

“What about you Clare?” Erin asked her, noticing she had been unusually quiet and the blush that grew on her cheeks.

“Aisling said she would come to my house and we’ll do it together” Clare smiled

As everyone bids goodbye, Orla gives Erin a quick hug before leaping behind Michelle. Clare also walked away until only James and Erin remained. None of them said a word and she found herself moving her shoe from side to side while he looked at the sign as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“Shall we go?” James’ asked.

“Yes, of course” James’ voice brought Erin’s attention back, as he stared at her with curiosity.

Erin’s family gave a polite greeting to James’ more to make sure they knew they could get down to eat as soon as they were done with the homework. Joe had stared at him as he walked upstairs and Erin thought she vaguely heard him scolding her dad about something.

Once in her bedroom she threw her schoolbag in a corner so it didn’t take long for their books to be sprawled over her book as they scribbled on their notebooks as fast as they could, barely glancing at the other and only talking when they had a question.

“Will you go out with Fiona?” Erin finally gathered the courage to say what was in the back of her mind. James stopped his writing to look up at her, his head tilting slightly.

“Maybe, why?” James shrugged, and Erin did the same, her mouth tense in a line.

“It’s not like I care at all.” She shook her head shrugging her shoulders and pulling the notebook close to her.

“Then why did you ask? I mean, you clearly don’t care” He shrugged, Erin was sure she had seen the ghost of a smile in his lips.

“That… That’s right. I don’t care” She blabbered, avoiding to look him in the eyes.

“Right” He nodded “Then you asked me, for no apparent reason”

“That’s right” She nodded.

“I don’t see what’s so bad about someone asking me out” James meditated, playing with his pen on his fingers “You might be surprised to know not all of Derry is disgusted by the English thing”

“I know it, at least I know I’m not, not now” She mumbled, barely a whisper, shrugging, her cheeks turning pink when he looked at her almost as if he was in awe with her words “And there is a very big issue with you dating other girls”

“Which is?” He tilted his head, eyebrows rised.

“When a boy dates a girl, most of the time that girl doesn’t like the boy hanging out with other girls. She would force you to stop being our friend James. You are our friend, I… we don’t want to lose you to some other girl.” Erin tried to say it, desperate to make sense of everything that ran through her mind at the same time.

_I was already terrified of losing you once, please don’t make me go through that again._

“But Michelle, Orla and Clare don’t mind” He tried.

“That’s because they don’t relate with the situation” Erin began “Clare is a lesbian, so no one will mind she is your friend, Michelle is your cousin, so yeah and Orla is mental, she wouldn’t realize the problem even if I explained it to her” She continued, standing up from the bed to stretch her feet. “You are my friend, I am only doing what friends do and looking after you”

“Then I suppose you’ll be glad to know I said no to the date with Fiona” He smiled. “It would be quite terrible if that were to happen”

“Wait, you did?” Erin questioned, eyes wide open as he stood up from the bed, leaving his notebook close to hers. “Why?”

“It just seemed unfair, considering I like someone already” His words and the way his eyes shone when he said it made her heart skip a beat

“You do?” Her tone was filled with hope.

“Yes, and I hope she doesn’t mind I have other girl friends because it would make things a bit complicated” He took a step closer to her.

“Who?” she questioned, her brain didn’t realize when he stepped so close to her, but this time, she didn’t move, remaining there out of her own volition.

“Why is it important?” He asks, and she saw a smile full of mischief in his face. Her heart beat faster in her chest and her cheeks got red. As soon as he cupped her face with his hands she knew he could feel the heat on her face.

“Be…Because, I… you… we…. You can’t… because I…” her mind was a jumble, an entire mess that struggled to cooperate with her mouth to form a coherent sentence with his thumbs rubbing her cheek.

It was a second, a brief second in between her mind trying to arrange the words inside it and feeling James’ lips touching hers, it was short and brief, and his eyes scanned her over, looking for a reaction. She kissed him back the second she realized what he was doing, her arms traveled to his neck and his found a home in her waist pulling her closer.

“What are we now?” She questioned when they broke apart. They were smiling, their faces bright red.

“Friends” He said “But… now that we kissed, I must admit that I fancy you and It’d make me quite happy if you wanted to be my girlfriend”

“I do” Erin said sinking her head in his chest

Her room felt bigger, bigger than what it should have felt, but it was perfect, because it felt like if they were entirely on their own, a few seconds of peace away from the rest of the world.

“Should we tell them?” Erin questioned, blushing when she felt his finger travel up and down her arm, not once stopping, a soft smile on his face. His forehead leaning against the side of her face

“Not now” He whispered, as if there were other people in her bedroom who could have heard them. “Now we enjoy this, we can take care of the rest after” His words brought a line of hope to her heart. He was here, and right now, he was staying.


End file.
